Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
