If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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