I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
