The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it's great music for shaving your balls
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
