So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My balls are so social today.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
