This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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