So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
