mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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