no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
