dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
