sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
