Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she told me i tasted like america
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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