U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
