Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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