i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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