I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
