I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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