my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I supernannyed him into submission
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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