Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
