I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
