Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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