There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
