I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
