aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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