He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
