Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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