sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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