Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
