I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
