; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
