I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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