Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
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