Swine flu. Run for my life!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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