Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
