talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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