I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
