I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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