she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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