shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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