just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
