Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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