in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
this boner is exhausting
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
