hotel room ftw
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
