Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Sacagawea was the original milf.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize