I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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