6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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