How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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