WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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