there was a trapeze. enough said
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
