We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
