So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
