Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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