Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
