He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize
