It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
