How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
