the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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