never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
