508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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