She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
