You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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