Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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