the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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